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There`s something to be said about imperfections
Tuesday, 27 May 2014
There`s something to be said about imperfections

Perfection is such a fickle term, largely open to interpretation and influenced by perception, it’s pretty hard to pin down. Yet as you’re reading this, I’m sure you have a certain sense of what perfect means to you. The perfect outfit, the perfect life and essentially, the perfect partner.

What I would like to suggest is that you put your preconceived notions about the term temporarily aside and hear me out. To me, `perfect` causes a slight sense of anxiety, as if I need to measure up somehow against something I constructed, something I`m sure I`ll never be able to do although I`ll never admit to it. Perfect can be bland and also exhausting, there`s no room for improvement or failure... there`s really nowhere to go from there, except down. Wouldn`t you want your relationship and your partner to grow, evolve and become the very best they can be? Wouldn`t you want the same for yourself?

Research recently published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that finding a partner is way more complicated than we may think. Our perception of what we find attractive changes as we get to know somebody. To complicate matters even further, it is suggested that we construct our perfect ideal based on our own preferences AND those of our loved ones. It becomes equally important to impress the people around us as much as ourselves. Can you feel the pressure building?

Imperfections, on the other hand, makes me curious, curious about where you`ve been, what you`ve been through and the potential lessons you learnt along the way. Life can be less than perfect most of the time, but it does provide us with an opportunity to change, to adapt and to become more resilient. Our quirks and character traits build up our personality, they make us interesting, they give us substance and they generate memorable qualities in the people we meet. They also make us strive to be better, not necessarily perfect, just better (less pressure, same goal).

Mike Robbins wrote an interesting article called `Love your Flaws`, where he challenges the reader to do just that and in doing so, make room for improvement. He suggests, and I tend to agree with him, that "you may obsess about certain aspects of your body or appearance, your personality, your life or work circumstances and deem them as bad or flawed. But the truth is they simply are as they are - you add the meaning and interpretation to them." The same theory can be applied to dating, judging an individual based on their appearance or circumstances reveal nothing with regards to who the person is or where they`re headed. Aren`t you curious to see what would happen if you just altered your perception a little the next time you head out to meet someone?

I would like to challenge you to keep an open mind and just show up for one of our events. Maybe you`ll be surprised at what you notice in people when you let go of the idea of what they should be. Maybe you`ll get to know a different side of yourself that didn`t seem worthy of being shown or explored. Maybe you`ll decide to stick to your perfect ideal, whatever the outcome, the point would be to experiment, explore and grow to appreciate imperfections, especially your own.

I would love to hear your thoughts on perfection and what it means to you. Do you consider yourself or your potential partner perfect or do you believe you`ll only be happy once you reach the ideal you`ve created in your mind? Please leave a comment below, it`s always great to get some feedback.

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